Memories never fade ...

On March 31st, 2009 my guy bestfriend passed away. We were always together and we were always there for each other. He moved to california in Mid february of 2009 which really sucked for me because he was my other half my right hand my main man my brother and more importantly my bestfriend. We always told each other everything but I guess he had his reason for not telling me the biggest one. They found a tumor growing in his stomach and I had no clue. I don't know why he would keep that from me when he knew secrets didnt exist between us but things happen and even though I wish he would've told me to at least make his last few days amazing and a blast. His mom told me that's the reason they moved because he was having strong pains and they needed a hospital that specialized for it .He was the greatest bestfriend anyone could ever ask for. We'd go places together and have a blast ,we never once fought and we always made each other smile. Growing up with him was a great experience and since he knew he was going to eventually past he wrote me a letter and left it with his mom for her to give me and it said " I wish I would've told you sooner so I didn't have to hurt you now that im gone but just know im in a better place and that whenever you feel that you need me look down a little to your left in the middle of your chest where your heart is and thats where ill always be. Im going to miss you but know I love you and care for you. no matter where you are or what your doing ill be right next to you watching you and guarding your every move. I love you Bestfriend and thankyou for making the piece of my life I got to live worth it." When I read the letter my heart shattered into a million pieces and I knew that part of me was gone just like him. He had told his mom to give me his favorite shirt and that I was to keep it forever and he also left me his favorite teddy bear which was a small bear that had a heart in the middle that said I love you . For the next 6 months I spent my nights crying and remeniscing on everything we had done all the good and the bad but one day something clicked inside my head and I realized that even though he was no longer with me physically his memories were stuck in my heart forever. He showed me what a true friendship was , I loved him dearly and I still do. I miss him like no other but I know he's watching over me and guiding me as the good person he is , I miss you Erik <3 R.I.P BESTFRIEND :)

Your that one person i'll always have in my heart .

As crazy as it seems his name always crosses my mind, whether it's because I hear a song that reminds me of him or I hear a phrase he often used to say. I remember he once told me that if it's meant to be it will be. Even though we're not together anymore , I have hope. Hope is all I need to keep me strong. It's too much walking past you everyday or being in the same room as you for 45 minutes. As much as we try some of us can't forget those who made our days the best :) We sit there acting like nothings wrong when inside we're broken up and torn apart. It's like just yesterday we were a thing and today your nothing but the past. If i had a chance to go back in time and fix everything I'd do it. Why we couldn't work out? I guess you had your reasons. Im stuck in this idea that someday we'll go back to being "us".

-Because my heart can't lie even though my smile can try . . .

Japan News Article'

http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2011/03/23/japan-quake-live-blog-tap-water-in-tokyo-unsafe-for-infants/?hpt=T2

Title : Japan quake live blog: Government will try to count orphans

This article is about japan counting how many orphans they have so far. Being a child and going through the tsnuami and all that, they'll be growing up not knowing what happened or why their parents aren't there anymore is terrible. If it was me I'd be devastated because it's something im sure most kids don't want to go through. Just the thought they'll have to make it on their own must be heart breaking. I'd love to take in as many kids as possible if I were a millionaire and just give them everything and more of what their parents could've but knowing their parents died in a struggle for their lives and their child's lives must be an amazing feeling to know that maybe their parents drowned to keep them afloat. Their parents died for them and they should move on with their lives and try to forget everything that's happened this past month. Its not easy and things don't go away over night but god be with them.

Japan News'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-asia-pacific-12814871

Title of article : Stop-start work at Japan reactors

This article is about Power cables attached to reacts struck nuclear plants. The terrible things happening in japan one after another must be devasting .Workers are making such an effort to get things up and running but I know it's probably not easy dealing with trying to get everything together but it's still devasting to know some people have no homes to go back to once everything is over. Realizing that many may have lost all that they have is really heart wrecking. When I saw all those images it tore me apart. I get frightened for all thos lives lost and everyone that worked hard to build something that's now nothing.

Japan article /=

Link : http://www.cnn.com/2011/WORLD/asiapcf/03/21/japan.disaster/index.html?hpt=T2

This article is called : In northeastern Japan, hope dwindles as death toll mounts .

In this article many people are sad and mourning over their family's deaths. A lot of people are walking around showing other people pictures of their loved ones in hope that someone has seen them or recognizes them from somewhere. A hospital in Japan got drowned with water as the tsunami was happening. Images of people being swept away are devasting. Help arrived to many places 3-4 days later which wasn't much help to the people at the hospital because many got drowned especially those on the main 1st and 2nd floors. A man was holding on to his 71 year old father's hand and was holding him above the water and then when the tsunami came he couldn't hold on any longer because of the strong rushes of the currents and I feel terrible for him because he had no other choice than to let go. At least he knows he tried. The worst part about Japan getting hit is knowing that 30% of their population is over 65 years of age. Japan fears that more than half the percent of missing people have already passed away or drowned /=. It's a very sad thing but all we have left to do is pray <3 . . .

Love

Love:: strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties .

Most of think we experienced love already but we really haven't. It's called a close encounter, at least that's how I see it. I once thought I was in "love" also, but after we broke up I realized that it wasn't because If someone really "loved" you the way they said they did they wouldn't have hurt us the way they did and I honestly don't understand what part of a fake relationship girls don't get. Boys will always be boys regardless of how they feel about something or someone. They don't take girls seriously unless they really really like them and that's when it's going to hit them that girls don't want to be with guys that are players or have "been around" because it's not cute nor cool. It's good to have flows and what not but not when your in a relationship knowing that your girlfriend's around being faithful. Let's get something clear boys ,girls aren't toys and I'd actually like to be in a guys shoes for once just to know what goes through their minds when they do what they do. To me their nothing but heart breakers .

Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber has to be my favorite artist in the whole wide world . He's the cutest and sweetest guy ever :)
If I had to choose a guy to get married to right now It'd be him , he's so sweet and genuine with everything he does.Im one of his biggest followers, I evenmade a twitter just to see what he's upto . I heard rumors that he's dating selena gomez which is really upsetting because I had my heart set on him :( but it's okay reality is he's up there and im not. He's very flirtacious and he loves making out haha. He's adorable , I dont like his new hair cut it totally loses the bieber in Justin bieber. That's what made him well HIM <3
I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM AND IDC WHO KNOWS IT :D

What has this world come too? . . .

All the things happening all around the world make me think about what im doing with myself and with my life. I feel terrible about what has happened in international locations lately. The earthquake and tsunami in Japan has been crazy. I feel bad that im not able to do anything for them or give them money to be able to fix things and get out of the mess their in. Many lives lost and many missing that are probably no longer with us. The terrible feeling of not being able to do anything kills. Knowing that all we can do is sit here and pray for a better tommorow. I love to visit sick children at hospitals and its crazy because many people look at me and think I have this attitude and im selfish and what not but Im not like that. Im actually a sweet person when I want to be. I never put someone down regardless of what their going through and when I say im a friend I'll always be here for you no matter what even if no one wants to be there for you I wont turn my back when I know that's when you need me the most.

Junior year /=

Hmphh, im sure most of us start feeling the pressure of life at this time. I know im feeling it already.Why does junior year have to be so hard? It's like we have to focus on our grades and all that stuff so we can be off to college in the next year or so. Most of us don't even know what we want to be yet and it sucks badly because we're under the pressure of our parents/teachers/and friends. Most of my friends have their mind set on what they want to do and Im not too sure of what I want to do or be. Im most likely going to end up going to a community college for 2 years and go from there even though I want to go directly to a 4 year and get started because knowing me Im going to get lazy and what not and I don't want to fall behind. Im sure most of us want to go to college and what not because who doesn't want to have a future but then again not all of us have our mind sets on school but I know I want to be someone because the day of tommorow when my kids ask me "mommy what are you or what do you do for a living" I want to tell them something they'll look upto me for :) It wont be easy but in life nothing is. Im going to strive for what I want and believe in and however that goes then fine :]

Local News '

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/03/04/nyregion/04stab.html?_r=1&ref=nyregion

Queens woman is accused of murdering her son. He was found stabber to death in his apartment and the authorities charged her on murder. The 37 year old man had celebral palsy.The son, Rene Vera, was dead when officers arrived, his body lying face up in bed with stab wounds to the chest. A footlong kitchen knife rested on his chest, and a smaller knife lay on the floor by his bed, the police said. Her mother then tried to kill herself by cutting her wrists but she failed in the attempt.

National News '

http://www.dailynews.com/breakingnews/ci_17539463

A young basketball player from Michigan state died after making the winning shot for his team. He made the shot and then collapsed on the court and was pronounced dead shortly after . The paramedics performed CPR on the 16 year old player but he died later at the hospital. Everyone said he was a bright and nice loving kid and that they can't explain how or what happened but that he will be missed very dearly .

Hard News Article '

"http://www.nydailynews.com/blogs/the_beautiful_blog/2011/03/owl-attacked-by-luis-moreno-dies"

This article is about a soccer player that was playing a game in colombia , it was colombia vs. venezuela . Luis Moreno was obviously upset that the other team was winning and he was winning . The owl was on the field and was first impacted by the ball hitting it which knocked it out and made the owl unconcious. Then Luis Moreno came and kicked the owl about another 5 feet and it was terrible , the footage made me cry because it was not the owl's fault. The owl was a simple visitor of the field and the owl was taken to the hospital and pronounced dead of a celebral attack. Luis Moreno is not being threatened by everyone that saw the images and he asked for security and protection because he has been threatened to get killed for what he did and I honestly think that he should get what he deserves .