Stupidity -_-

So yesterday was national ass whooping day here at van. Honestly I really hate this school and everyone in it . I don't associate myself with fake people because I know it's going to be a friendship that'll get no where . I don't like being talked about especially not behind my back . I think if you have a problem with me ; you should come up to me as a person and try to settle your differences with me instead of going and blabbing your mouth to the rest of the world about me. I'd actually be flattered that you took time out of your day to talk crap about me and it's lovely that my name was even in your mouth . I really don't understand why all of these things going on but I guess people will be people and at the end of the day you'll always have fake friends . Some people change... most of them not for the better . I got people that love me and will always have my back so stupidy never really affects me and if anything I know how to handle my own problems . Things aren't always how they seem and life isn't always fair but it's something we all learn to live with. I don't know why or when I''ll stop living but for now I know im going to enjoy my life to the fullest and nothing won't matter after that . When you die you take nothing with you so why not life the life while you have it .

It never matters as much as you do :D

I very often hear friends say falling in love was the 1 thing they regret the most . I think falling in love is a beautiful feeling :) . I haven't found that one guy that has made me want to tell him I Love You but I know for a fact I found one that makes me happy and keeps me smiling . It's great knowing there's someone there that you can always turn too when you need to . I adore him very much and I hope that our relationship can get somewhere. Now a days it's very hard to find boys that are worth giving a chance too . Perfect boys just don't exist anymore and it really sucks , but im willing to deal with him and make him my perfect guy because I believe that If someones really worth it then every second with them should be valued . I see my ex's around all the time and they don't really phase me because once what we had is done our friendship is done . I don't think having ex's as friends is healthy to the relationship your in . I believe things aren't always how they seem and I deffinately don't believe in second chances because if it didn't work the first time why would it work the second time ? So nopee second chances don't exist in my book . You don't to get on my bad side because I'd make your life miserable; but other than that im the sweetest and funniest person ever .

Happiness once again :)

I went to North Carolina over this 3 day weekend and it was so much fun ! Honestly Im glad that I got to see my dad . I hadn't seen him since summer of 2009 . Seeing him again made me extremely happy and it brought joy to my heart . We hung out and he took me shopping and I loved shopping with him ; we hadn't done that since I was like 10 . I appreciate him so much , even though there are times when I want nothing to do with him because he annoys me with the things he says and by taking my moms side whenever she gets mad at me . Thank god she's doing better :] Im pretty happy because we're moving to a bigger place and I get more space for my stuff . Everything's finally falling into place & I love it . Me and Anthony are doing good and things are looking smooth . My aunts thinking about opening a supermarket with my mom because it's what dominicans do . The weather outside is so ugly & I didn't even feel like coming but what was I going to stay home for ? I rather be socializing with my friends then be sitting at home really bored . Im very excited that the Jets are close to superbowl . Im excited to see my bestfriend 10th period ! I have alot to tell her :) . I want so badly because then I won't have to walk in this silly weather . This weather usually puts me in a bad mood ; but not today because I can't stop smiling :D <3 

What would life be like without you?

Sometimes I start thinking about what life would be without my mom and dad . They mean the world to me! I never really know what to do with alot of stuff but they lead the way for me and always give me the best advice . I guess you can say I never had that "Childhood" most kids did because most of the time my parents were fighting and it got to the point where my mom couldn't take it anymore . I acted happy all the time to try and not let it bother or affect me but at times I wanted to explode and scream . Growing up I was always Daddy's little girl :) He gave me whatever I wanted whether it was money or something materialistic . I made him get me everything I wanted... Most of the time I guess you can say I took advantage of him . Being little I didn't know what taking things for granted felt like. My dad I guess gave me love with things , not the kind of love where you get a hug on the daily . But to me , it was alright because I had everything I wanted , yeah im pretty much saying I was spoiled ; Still am but that comes from both my parents and I blame them for making me so proud and full of it . I never once heard my dad tell me NO . My mom loves me the most and even though im not the perfect child she`s fine with it and gives me everything also hoping I love her like I love my dad . I love my mom just as much I just cant show it and I don`t know why . I don`t show it for my dad either but it`s something that`s wrong with me . I made myself the way I am but I blame them for making me who I am . When I was 12, my dad left . He went to live with my aunt in North Carolina and I couldn`t accept the fact that one day he told me Im leaving and the next he was gone... He didn`t even ask me for my opinion or anything...just like that he was gone . The day he was leaving was a monday I had school that day . His flight would leave at 3. I remember me asking one of my friends to call my mom to tell her that I was sick just so I could see him leave . I still called him and told him that I wanted to see him before he left because I was on my way home but he left & that's okay because someday I'll get over it .

Funny Story

So today has been pretty funny ; This morning like every other morning I met up with Bestfriend and we're in McDonald's and we're talking nonsense and we're just really happy & everything seems funny too us it was great . Things with me and Anthony are going pretty good ; we got back to normal again which of course makes me happy :) . He's such a sweet person I just wish he'd make more of an effort to  be with me . Over the phone and everything we have these amazing conversations and I find it great that we connect but im still not sure hes ready for a relationship , at times he seems as if he doesn't know what he wants and that bothers me . Things seem like their going well but im still insecure , But i guess only time will tell . :)

- Jessie <3

Sick days :(

I feel so sick today , my throat is killing me and its upto a point where I can`t take it anymore . I wish I could`ve stayed home ; I barely slept last night :( . I woke up at 7:21 this morning and I was laying there hoping i could at least knock out for another hour . My nose feels so stuffed & I feel like I can`t breathe correctly . I don`t even want to be here today . I want to take a longg napp !!! Everythings bothering me and I just want to put my head down and for everyone to leave me alone . I wanna cry because i hate being sick especially when I have school and I can`t even talk -__- ! ;  I love talking and I can`t which is very dissapointing .

Happiness :)

So today`s wendsay and im usually not in a good mood on wendsay`s and im usually not in a good mood today because i have gym today -_- but it`s whatever. Im in a great mood and I dont really know why but im glad I am. I was kind of upset yesterday at night because sometimes I just dont understand why half the things that happen go on and everythings so why me? But everything happens for a reason huh? Most of the time I brush everything off and act like it doesn`t bother me,but deep down I know it does and I try to not let it affect my everyday life. My friends always tell me to not be scared of my emotions but I hate crying, it isnt for me . Things happen because they just do , theres no one to blame but ourselves when we provoke our own problems. I like to take everything one step at a time even if whatever goes on hurts, there`s never really enough time for anything and we can go any minute; so I`ve recently learned. Whatever I have , Im going to make sure I appreciate it and not take it for granted .

Jessie <3

1961

1961 The cold war continued to worsen with the USSR exploding some very large bombs during testing and then masterminding the building of the Berlin Wall separating East from West Berlin, America sent a battle group to Germany and Americans and Russians Glared at each other across the border, due to this uncertainty many Americans built backyard fallout shelters in case of nuclear war. To make matters worse the Americans financed anti-Castro Cubans for an invasion at the bay of pigs which was an unmitigated disaster. The Soviets put the first man in space in April .Yuri Gagarin followed by the US in May with Alan Shepard. Popular music included Chubby Checker's “Pony Time” and “Will You Love Me Tomorrow” by the Shirelles, and top movies included "West Side Story" and "The Parent Trap.”

We all need eye openers at some point .

Sometimes we all need eye openers & it wasn`t until now that I got mine .
-Last monday was one of the worst days of my life ,it was a regular monday only I was on my break , it was all snowed in . Everything was fine until my mom started complaining about a pain she had . It got to a point where she couldnt take it anymore & we had to call the ambulance . I remember my sister telling me to call 911 . I looked at the time; it was 1:33 in the morning, I called the ambulance & explained the situation , they told me they were going to have someone out here immediately. We were patiently waiting as the minutes passed by then hours started passing by , someone called around 3 in the morning saying the ambulance got stuck ; luckily the pain would calm down and come back around shortly , it was 8:25 in the morning and I heard someone knocking at my door; it was the paramedics, I ran to the door and felt a relief to know my mom was in the hands of professionals . My 19 year old sister accompanied her to the hospital and I recieved news at around 10am that she had stones in her uterus and had to get them removed immediately . It was a short surgery and the process began around 6pm; at 10pm my sister called me to tell me she was fine again and that she was going to spend the night with my mom, the hard part was over. This all served me as a lesson and made me realize alot of things like how i would survive without my mother. I know there will come a time in life when I`ll have to let go but I dont want it to be anytime soon. I expect her to be around for half the time im around.

Appreciate what you have when you have it because when it`s gone you`ll regret taking it for granted .
-Jessie <3

Unacceptable

I hate when I start talking to someone and all of a sudden everything changes -_- ; its like why step into my life if you intend walking out? I honestly hate people that lie to me in my face even though i already know everything ! whats worse lying to me in my face or lying to me when i already know the truth? This is what makes us all so miserable & im not saying I dont lie because I know damn well I do & theres no reason for me to not accept facts . Im a mature person and if someone wants to tell me something about somebody else im just going to sit there and listen because I dont believe in jumping into other peoples problems without me knowing whats going on . Theres always 3 sides to every story , my side, your side, and the truth .

Live life day by day and dont let anything or anyone stop you
-Jessie <3